tumblr

Hiya people I have created a tumblr!
Yeah!
Okay so the address is www.happy-forever-and-always.tumblr.com
make sure you go visit horh. hahas anyway i will still be updating this blog lah :D

INCEPTION IN TOY STORY 3?!!

WATCH THIS!
IT'S HILARIOUS!
HAHAHAS INCEPTION IN TOY STORY 3??!!

OR INCEPTION IN UP??

Living your life to the fullest

It's all about living your life to the fullest.
Life is unpredictable and what you never expected or never imagined would have happened happened. I just got the news today. Then I the first thing I thought was you. Then what? Yes, I am kind of taken aback. But what to do? Nothing. I learnt something painful. That life is unpredictable, life a lottery. Live each day to the fullest. Because you never know what tomorrow brings you. Life is short. We should live life to the fullest.

Ambitions and secrets

Ambitions.
What do you wanna be when you grow up?
Secrets.
There are just somethings you just can't tell anyone because it is too private and you fear embarrassment.
That's what I experienced.

Life

Life has taught me a lot.
In the past I was still immature,
still ignorant.
I didn't understand many things and complained,
lament, blame heaven blame everything.
But now I am much more matured.
And I do feel different.
Grades.. are they really that important?
How to balance your life?
I believe it is something hard.
All their lives, people have spent the whole of the lives just to realise that happiness is simple. Simple happiness and contentment and happiness naturally arises. Why reach for the moon and not see the grass beneath it?
Life should be live in a simple manner. Lets keep things simple.
I know this world is not pure. No one is perfect. There will always be another devil created when one dies. And why upset ourselves over these devils? It's not worth it. Life taught me to let the past be bygones and just appreciate life for the simplest thing before you lose it. Yes, life is fragile indeed. You lose things when you least expect it. And not everything has a second chance to it. Lose the things, and it will forever be gone. No matter how hard you try. So don't live your life in regrets. Live life to the fullest everyday because life is fragile and unpredictable. Deaths happen when you least expect it. And broken hearts occur when you least expect it. Sure, life is fragile. But we still have to continue living. I rather live my life happily than in fear. Because it just isn't worth it.
So live your life to the fulllest.
Because... (you should know why)

sigh

What's wrong with me nowadays?
Why am I so moody?
Sigh..
Sigh...
There are many things on my mind that I can't say.
Yet I want to say.
What exactly is the status of our friendship?
normal, good friends or one of your really really close friends?
There are many things I want to tell you.
But I doubt I can.
Because...
sigh.
Why can't I be more enthu?
why is my life so fail nowadays??
i really need some comfort.

My life is in a mess

My life is in a mess.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Nowadays I just screw everything up.
I must work harder.
Before everything gets screwer.
Before my pop quizzes' grades suck.
And my test results suck.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Why nowadays my grades so lan?
Sigh.
I MUST WORK HARDER!
:D

HE IS SO DAMN SHUAI

HE IS DAMN SHUAI!
Even if many say he isn't.
But who cares as long as I think he is shuai?
HE IS SHUAI!
HE IS SHUAI!
WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEE!

Note to self

Note to self : Cindy, please spend less money and stop going to MACS. You are never able to save up enough to buy that new casing you want. And MACS is fattening. So Cindy, please control before I slap you. Oh and please manage your time well and sleep more. And please start to panic cause EOY is like 6 more weeks. Seems short? NO! Cause you have CT4, Chinese CT, Geo CT etc in between. So please stop fooling around before you regret cause it is like the streaming year this year. TSK!

i realise

I suddenly realise that I enjoy talking to 5 people the most. Alot.
But I wont say who lah.
Hahas. Anyway, ljy has yet again inspired me to write my 3 rd post for the day. Thanks ying ying :D

i wan a bestie

I would love to be very good friends with someone. I have always admire people who are besties. Like for instance Vanessa and Brenda. It's like so cool that they are on super good terms and are super close like glue man. Is like wow. Won't it be good to have a friend like that too? I wish to have. It's like besties do things together, have fun together, talk together, and you would never really get tired of the other party no matter what. It's like you just want to do everything with that person. Right now, I haven't really found one. I hope to be able to find one and be like V&B. I think I should be more positive. It's like having a bestie, you feel very comfortable speaking to that person, you always wanna sms that person, you always wanna talk to that person and you always await her reply. right now, I have one that is how I feel like that about the sms. But then to find a bestie is gonna be hard i guess. I hope to find a bestie soon. I wanna expand my circle of friends and get to know more people and get to know others better. I think my life will be more fulfilling. Right now, I currently love my mum and my family a lot :D Anyway, I feel quite happy today until the juben when xx person was irresponsible. Cause a EDS person, I dk how to speel her name was like calling out to me and I feel happy. Cause I feel kinda part of EDS and part of the in group at that moment.

Randoom

I am annoyed and unhappy with many things lately.
I don't want to study.
I don't want to go to school.
I rather lead a simple and happy life.
I rather live in England than live in Singapore cause Singapore has got not much of a tradition, a history. (I miss when I was young. I miss my childhood, when I used to go shopping every single weekend and life was so carefree. But now life is terribly harsh and tiring.
I really hate liars, irresponsible people, people who do what's wrong at the wrong time. WTH lah. Seriously.
I wished I live in England. But then again, Singapore is unique. the district I am lving in is not bad.
I don't want study.
But then again, I am losing my motivation to study, like last year during EOY, that's why my EOY grades suck.
I hate studying. I know it's for our own good but I really hate studying.
And I really dislike certain people.

Society

It is because of how society perceives you that cause you to rethink. Rethink and lose the initial beliefs you had.
I hate it when people keep saying I ask a lot of questions.
I mean ask a lot if irrelevant and like it's a bit common sense then no good la. But when people don't know and just clarify got problem meh? Not everyone is as smart.
I believe society cause us to be who we are today.

I realised..

Life is unpredictable. We thought we couldn't win the competition and we won. I was expecting 2I to win. Seriously. so when wu lao shi read out the second position I was like, aiya 2J lah, then I was trying to compose myself. But we won. And we didn't expect it. It came as a shock. A big shock. And because of that, life is unpredictable, things you thought wouldn't happen actually happen.

I realised that once something is broken, it would be so long before you can mend the broken parts. Or maybe it won't be mend at all.
I realised, I am rather annoyed with you.
I realised, I wished I could go back to early last year. When school first started. I realised a lot of things. I realised I haven't been getting good results lately. I feel demoralised. I realised time really does make a friendship you thought was so stable drift apart. I realised I have lots of things to say but can't. I realised that I feel upset at the moment. I realised I haven't exactly been that happy for the past few days. I realised I missed a lot of things. I realised life is weird. When you thought you could get away from something you weren't happy with, comes another one. But this time round, the new one isn't something you are happier with as compared to the last time one. So maybe the new isn't that good at all in certain aspects. I feel so emotional right now. I have lots of things to say, but apparently can't. I know I am going to miss 2J. I feel tired. Tired of a lot of things happening recently. Maybe I am just too sensitive.
I realised many things have changed over the course of 1 year plus. Nearly 2 years. And the change maybe aren't exactly what I wanted.
I feel fake at times. Maybe I am just too concerned about others' feelings.
My this post feels real, a true reflection of who I really am.

IDK

It's better to tell the people concerned how you feel about them than talk behind their backs.
But you need courage to do that.
Plus, it's kind of bad to criticise others.
So I don't know what to do.

Belief (2)

Believe me,
believe me if it was yesterday.
But it is today.
It is the future.
Not yesterday.

Belief

Time.
Time is all it takes to heal the wound. Time is all it takes to distance away. True.
A while ago, if you asked me if I believed in those 2 above, I would have said a big "NO.". But now I know it is true. Because of time. Time caused all these. 2 years have passed by in a flash. If you asked me 2 years ago would I have foresee who I would have been now, I would have said , "Still the same what.". But no, no, I feel like I am losing myself. Losing the old me. Because I can't remember who I used to be and I can't believe I am actually who I am now. I am 14. I can't believe I am 14. I can't believe who I am now. I can't believe a lot of things.
"There's a train, a train that will take you to somewhere. Somewhere you can't imagine. Somewhere you won't know where."
My train's journey, where exactly does it lies?

I love meeting new people

That's why I LOVE meeting new people.
No blemishes, no bad feelings, no nothing.
The feeling is totally awesome.
EDS CIP DAY was a great day as I got to know many people. Year 2 lah, Year 1 lah, Year 3 lah etc etc. Hahas.
That's why I LOVE EDS!
:D

EDS CIP DAY!

Yesterday was EDS CIP DAY!
YAY!
Had a fun day yesterday.
First we went to distribute light bulbs to the residents.
And then aiya I lazy to type.
But anyway, after CIP, I had a great time chatting with Sonia, Jamie, Crystal etc etc.
Hahahs.
Sonia was being cute when we received the water bottle.
She was like "Okay, I am going to erase the wordings on it then use it!". Hahas.
Lol, that was like totally cute.
And then I was damn lag during the briefing on some YOG thingy. We all had to crowd around for I don't know what reason.
Then I was like "Oh, so we are here for photo taking session?"
Then Jamie and Sonia burst out laughing.
hahas, yeah, I was damn lag. They were like "you took 10 minutes plus to realise that? wow, cindy, wow." Hahas. :D
And then I felt so happy as I chatted with them and others etc.
Then we watched the YOG runners run.
Wah damn cool sia.
Then EDS people went mad. Other CCAs too. We cheered when every single vehicle passed by. The drivers gave us the "wah" look. So cute lah. Then wah so epic. The police even came to like omg ensure safety? Ensure the safety of the torch or? Hahas. We were standing by the road mah. So damn epic lah. And then Jia Xin was like so totally famous. Everybody was screaming at her for photographs cause she one of the torch bearers mah. So good. :D Then yeah, I was feeling damn hot cause the weather was freaking hot. Then I walked home with Jun De. Hahas, I can't believe I actually walked home with a guy alone. Wah. Like so totally epic man. Lols. Hahas, anyway he's a nice guy. Very friendly etc. Lol, but I am not crushing on him horh. SO don't get the wrong idea.

todayy

today was a rather okay day.
except that i feel that i should slack more on life.
i can't stand slacking aroudn the house.
i will feel so guilty for not doing any work.
but i can't help it.
so i am taking this holiday to reassess my life.
tomorrow's eds cip day.
i can't help but to feel nervous.
i mean, hey i am a newbie.
and then meetig everybody.
everyone will have their own cliques etc and then you are the odd one out.
sigh.
but somehow i must try. try to know them. hopefully everything will be okay.
thank god.

..

i kept deleting those posts about you.
cause i realised hating or disliking someone was terrible.
i shalln't waste my energy.

todayy

Today was a rather nice day.
Had national day celebration first.
Was having quite a fun time with Jiayu and lao thiang. And then the celebration quite interesting. I like the one by the SH the most. Hahahas. Cause I like dance what. I think they have some really chio people like elizabeth and siyin. hahas. That's one of the reason why I found this segment interesting. But I not sick horh. Then me, jieying, huining, liting, shiying went to plaza singapura to watch movies! but shiying didn't watch cause she no money. sad lah. if i have money will lend her de. if not just like that go home quite sad. then jy and lt watch inception. me and hn watch salt. salt was nice =D i love angelina jolie! =D she rock. and the movie rocks cause got a lot of action scenes. and man, i actually ate macs in the cinema. hahas. me and hn smugggled food in. lol. and then i was like omg, i can't belivee i actually eat macs in the cinema. lols. then i think salt very nice. see, told ya hn. nice de what. inception also. =D then we walked around. and old fatty hn borrowed $2 from me to buy some darren shan book, tsk, so we couldn't take neoprints. =( sigh. but nvm lah. after eoy lols. btw, eoy sucks. lols. hahas. then we walked around. . and that fatty keep on say want go home. TSK! lol. shouldn't mah. happy happy go out i dont like to go home early. in fact, when i go shopping with friends, i always don't go home early cause i like to shop. i hate going home when i am shopping. but nvm lah. so yea, here i am back home. blogging. and then go do some crap hw. and then feeling happy about the holidays. =DD yay. don't need to go sch!!!!!!! yayyyy!!!!!!!!!! and then during this period i am going to pack my room and decorate it. =D
so that's all.
byee.

life

My life.
Experiences really make you stronger and better.
I guess as you grow, you kind of just think more sensibly and become more matured. This, I never used to believe until life showed me the way of life. I am not that supersititious. But of late, I have turned to GOD. Man, I am a Buddhist. How can? Stop Cindy. Tsk. So I decided I should become my Buddhist. This thinking kind of give me emotional support.
I need plenty of emotional support. Really. Everyday when I go home, I feel lonely. Cause I am always going home alone. No one takes 196. No one goes home early like me. Then I wonder, if this really what a teenager undergoes? Before I first came into dunman, I really wanted to lead a teenage life. Like you know do the teenage stuffs. How teenagers enjoy their life and get to be with their friends. I love the feeling of knowing many. It makes me feel more popular and I feel better. I mean, who wants to be lonely and feel left out? So I am starting to rethink. Rethink my ideas. Maybe grades aren't that important at all. I mean not that. Perhaps it is best to enjoy your teenage life cause you are only young once. Next life.. is there even a next life? Or maybe you could strike a balance. Yeah, that's what I am going to do. I admit I like many, also want to be in the "in" crowd. Who doesn't? Then I start to rethink. Have I changed? Changed for the worse or for the better? What was I like in the past? In primary school , I was a popular kid. But noww.. Not so. Perhaps it's cause I am quite quiet and shy when I meet others. SO I must learn to open up more. Yeah, I believe that will help. All these sayings are right. At this point in time in life, you reeally wonder who you really are. Your character etc. Then when I think and think, I start to get thinking.
Life, you taught me a lot of stuffs.
thank you life. :)

YAY

YAY!!!!
I FINALLY GET MY EDS BADGE AND SHIRT!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHS!
I AM DAMN HAPPY!
FINALLY I FEEL PART OF EDS!!!!!
LALALALALALALALA!!!

idk

So I sit there wondering,
Why hadn't you replied?
Why?
Must I always be the one to take the first step?
Must I?
So how?
Tell me how?

IDK.

common

You don't want to be lonely anymore.
You don't.
So do I.
Then I realised.
Something common betweeen us.
Something only understood between us.
Something no one who hadn't been through could understand.
So I have tried.
You should too you know.
Seriously.
Okay.
Done.

P.S iheartedsforever!

you won't fail

You won't fail.
You won't fail.
Because I am there.
Because I am there.
There to be there for you.

People like you

I really don't like you.
You and your attitude.
I hate you.
You and your attitude.
You and your damn attitude.
I wonder if you have a conscience.
A conscience.
I bet you don't.
You don't even know I am writing about you.
Seriously.
I hate people like you.
Damn.

But I thought

But I thought it was like that.
Or was it?
Maybe.
Soon enough I will have the answer.
I believe.

what have you really done?

I asked," What have you done? What have you really done?"
What have you really given?
What have you really contributed?
Should I still keep you?
Should I?
Thanks Mian for being there yesterday.
Thanks EDS for making me more determined to leave you.
And so as I pondered, once a many time,
over whether, really,
What have you really done?

fun day

ireallyloveeds!
seriously. =D
hahas.
today was another fun day at eds.
the guys at eds. omg. they so active and hyper.
and i was especting more girls than guys to be in eds.
it was the other way round.
and today yeah we had fun.
we did who's the murdereer,
more acting basically,
me sharing my own story. okay those who came for eds today know lah.
and i love eds! =D
okay i am new in eds.
so i try to be friendly and nice =D (actually i am . =P)
cause you know lah newbie must like that de mah if not feel left out.
omg. i cant wait for the next eds lesson!
i can't wait to see you.
i am mad about eds!
yay!
whhhooo!
i wish we could and i know we could. =D
so i am gonna be more active in the next eds lesson yeah? =D
hahas. i am damn happy today.
as i said, eds brightens up my life and i always look forward to fridays.
cause next day is weekend.
cause is eds day!
cause i get to meet you guys!
and i get to have fun!
and i love eds!
whhheeeee!
hahaas.
but sad lah, next friday is a holiday?!!!!
tsk.
i want eds lah.
holiday= no eds.
wth.
tsk!
okay i swear i am gonna talk to you more often. cause i just read your blog. just knew you dont want that newbie feeling. and actually i wanted to talk more to you lah. but i shy what. tsk. hahas. i just feel that people with similar characters get along well. you and i kinda click, =D
ohyeah and today after eds i went to do geoo project with steph.
then we met clarissa, emily, valerie and isabelle.
hahas and i was like "hi clarissa!". okay actually is she spot me first i think.
i was kinda shock to see her there.
i thought she go home liao to study.
then she was there talking and doing homework with them lah.
so i felt really happy again. =D
loveya clare!
i mean hey, you are a good friend.
someone i can talk to , someone i feel understands me and undeerstands whats going on.
i love sms-ing you like totally. =D
and then wu lao shi ( a few days ago) praised me for my chinese lang du. she and mrs goh. so i was very happy. i mean still am very happy. hey, i mean small encouragement, some praise like these mean the whole to me man, it's like it just gives you encouragement and motivation and life seems so much beautiful. so in conclusion, in life, all we need is a little encouragement and praise now and then to get us back on track in life. =D
i love eds people.
i mean they are so totally funny. =D
okay i swear i love eds like siao.
and i am gonna be more active and enthu in the next eds training! =D
edsssssrocks.
i never knew people could love a ccca so much.
i thought that was like "really?"
then i finally got to experience it like now.
like now i love eds like siao.
like now i love eds people like siao, i love kaili, i love jamie!
and blah blah blah. =D
i think i love people if i love their character =D
like characters that click.
okay, this has been an ultra long post.
i told you i got influenced by eds.
i got so high that
the words just came flooding out. =D
i really love eds!
i really love eds people!
okay.
that's all folks.
byee =D

random

I really hate working with slackers.
If only..
If only I can choose who I want to work with for every project,
if only this world was a little bit more beautiful.
If only this world isn't so scary.
If only everyday was EDS day!
=D

Love and Hate

I really hate studying.
I really hate physics.
I really hate school.
I really hate lessons.
Yawn. Yawn. Yawn. Yawn.
I really love EDS!
I really heart EDS!
I really muack EDS!
=D
P.S Seriously, schools should be demolished.

EDS ROCKS! ! !

I LOVE EDS!
WHY CAN'T EDS BE EVERYDAY?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EDS MAKES ME HIGH!!! :)
EDS ROCKS!
EDS YAY!
WHEEEEEEE!

Stressed

I am really stressed.
How to complete the projects and homework you tell me? Sigh.

EDS ROCKS!

EDS IS SO DAMN AWESSSSOOOMMEEE!
YAY.
EDS MAKES ME HIGH!
LALALA.
hahas.
Today's training was so damn funny and awesome.
I got to make new friends and got to enjoy myself.
I got to know Jamie, Kai Li, Joel, Kennedy, Marcus, Fiona, Ching Yi and etc. (Ps if I spelt your name wrongly.)
And first we played who's the murderer which was to train our observation skills. Then we what acting thingy where we had to use mainly our body language to let the audience know where we were. Then we had this dialogue session where Jamie first told us about her class outing then me, Kai Li, Joel and Jun Wei acted out. Hahas. It was damn funny lah. I acted out the role of Guo Wei, a boy whom Jamie has a deep impresssion on. Hahas, overall today was real awesome.
Eveen though I am bigger than them by 1 year but man, they are still awesome to get along with. =DD
They made me realise some stuffs and just made me feel so relaxed!!!
Man, I can't wait for the next EDS session!!!
How I wish one week got twice or more of EDS lah!!!!! =DDDDDDDDDDDD
EDS ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!
EDS WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

random

OMG.
SCHOOOOOLL IS BORRIIINNGGGGGGGG!
I HATE STUDYING.
I HATE SCHOOL.
I HATE LESSONS.
ARGHHHHH.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
OKAY NVM.
Luckily there's EDS on friday. =D

lalala

Photos from photo-taking day....

Aren't we cute? Hui Ning just likes to act retarded. =)

I think the only people who feel happy are those with no problems in life, no 烦恼 in life and those who forgive and forget. It's like some problems are just so small just forget. And life you be okay and happy :)

I feel so happy nowadays.

Because I have managed to acquire self-discipline and a new state of mind. A new life. Yeah, sure, life sucks with homework and lessons but well, at the end of the day, they come to an end don't they? But seriously, PHYSICS SUCKS! lol. Sorry Clarissa, it's the truth, that physics sucks.
I guess, I learnt so many that well, life just seems brighter and nicer.

A new post.

This is my first post since May.
It's been a long 2 months indeed. Previously, I didnt post because I saw no purpose in doing so and I wanted to protect myself because I was still deeply wounded at that time. Now well, I guess the wound has healed a lot. A lot till I no longer think about it as often. Now I love my family a lot and have definitely grown a lot. In fact, I can't tell how much I have grown. I learnt to be more sensitive just like today. I just learnt many many lessons.
And yesterday's night conversation with Clarissa was helpful. It made me well kind of feel better and not feel so scared to irritate people with my questions. It just made me feel better and well, I just felt better.
And thoroughout this period of 2 months, I gained courage, grew and became a stronger person. I guess in our life, we need obstacles in order to make us stronger. I think that's very true. Because everytime a new obstacle comes up, I will tell myself " I can overcome it.".
And today, I gained courage and confidence to tell you something. I guess well, with my new-found maturity, I will understand and accept even if you don't want this friendship. And I guess we need time to start all over again. I hope to see you post about it on your blog so that at least I have an answer. If I don't see the post by tomorrow, I will forget this friendship and learnt to accept it. (Okay, this sounds harsh.)
There are so many things I want to tell you but I can't. Because I can't. Because you won't listen. But it's okay. I understand.
Thank you for teaching me sensitiveness. Just like today, the most important thing was that everyone got to play the frisbee challenge. Because we have to spare a thought for others. And this will be the last time I am posting about you. Unless of course things change for the better. And I do hope to see changes for the better . :)
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have posted this. I feel a bit down now. :(