i wan a bestie

I would love to be very good friends with someone. I have always admire people who are besties. Like for instance Vanessa and Brenda. It's like so cool that they are on super good terms and are super close like glue man. Is like wow. Won't it be good to have a friend like that too? I wish to have. It's like besties do things together, have fun together, talk together, and you would never really get tired of the other party no matter what. It's like you just want to do everything with that person. Right now, I haven't really found one. I hope to be able to find one and be like V&B. I think I should be more positive. It's like having a bestie, you feel very comfortable speaking to that person, you always wanna sms that person, you always wanna talk to that person and you always await her reply. right now, I have one that is how I feel like that about the sms. But then to find a bestie is gonna be hard i guess. I hope to find a bestie soon. I wanna expand my circle of friends and get to know more people and get to know others better. I think my life will be more fulfilling. Right now, I currently love my mum and my family a lot :D Anyway, I feel quite happy today until the juben when xx person was irresponsible. Cause a EDS person, I dk how to speel her name was like calling out to me and I feel happy. Cause I feel kinda part of EDS and part of the in group at that moment.

Randoom

I am annoyed and unhappy with many things lately.
I don't want to study.
I don't want to go to school.
I rather lead a simple and happy life.
I rather live in England than live in Singapore cause Singapore has got not much of a tradition, a history. (I miss when I was young. I miss my childhood, when I used to go shopping every single weekend and life was so carefree. But now life is terribly harsh and tiring.
I really hate liars, irresponsible people, people who do what's wrong at the wrong time. WTH lah. Seriously.
I wished I live in England. But then again, Singapore is unique. the district I am lving in is not bad.
I don't want study.
But then again, I am losing my motivation to study, like last year during EOY, that's why my EOY grades suck.
I hate studying. I know it's for our own good but I really hate studying.
And I really dislike certain people.

Society

It is because of how society perceives you that cause you to rethink. Rethink and lose the initial beliefs you had.
I hate it when people keep saying I ask a lot of questions.
I mean ask a lot if irrelevant and like it's a bit common sense then no good la. But when people don't know and just clarify got problem meh? Not everyone is as smart.
I believe society cause us to be who we are today.

I realised..

Life is unpredictable. We thought we couldn't win the competition and we won. I was expecting 2I to win. Seriously. so when wu lao shi read out the second position I was like, aiya 2J lah, then I was trying to compose myself. But we won. And we didn't expect it. It came as a shock. A big shock. And because of that, life is unpredictable, things you thought wouldn't happen actually happen.

I realised that once something is broken, it would be so long before you can mend the broken parts. Or maybe it won't be mend at all.
I realised, I am rather annoyed with you.
I realised, I wished I could go back to early last year. When school first started. I realised a lot of things. I realised I haven't been getting good results lately. I feel demoralised. I realised time really does make a friendship you thought was so stable drift apart. I realised I have lots of things to say but can't. I realised that I feel upset at the moment. I realised I haven't exactly been that happy for the past few days. I realised I missed a lot of things. I realised life is weird. When you thought you could get away from something you weren't happy with, comes another one. But this time round, the new one isn't something you are happier with as compared to the last time one. So maybe the new isn't that good at all in certain aspects. I feel so emotional right now. I have lots of things to say, but apparently can't. I know I am going to miss 2J. I feel tired. Tired of a lot of things happening recently. Maybe I am just too sensitive.
I realised many things have changed over the course of 1 year plus. Nearly 2 years. And the change maybe aren't exactly what I wanted.
I feel fake at times. Maybe I am just too concerned about others' feelings.
My this post feels real, a true reflection of who I really am.

IDK

It's better to tell the people concerned how you feel about them than talk behind their backs.
But you need courage to do that.
Plus, it's kind of bad to criticise others.
So I don't know what to do.

Belief (2)

Believe me,
believe me if it was yesterday.
But it is today.
It is the future.
Not yesterday.

Belief

Time.
Time is all it takes to heal the wound. Time is all it takes to distance away. True.
A while ago, if you asked me if I believed in those 2 above, I would have said a big "NO.". But now I know it is true. Because of time. Time caused all these. 2 years have passed by in a flash. If you asked me 2 years ago would I have foresee who I would have been now, I would have said , "Still the same what.". But no, no, I feel like I am losing myself. Losing the old me. Because I can't remember who I used to be and I can't believe I am actually who I am now. I am 14. I can't believe I am 14. I can't believe who I am now. I can't believe a lot of things.
"There's a train, a train that will take you to somewhere. Somewhere you can't imagine. Somewhere you won't know where."
My train's journey, where exactly does it lies?